And by baby, I mean me. Taking good care of my three babies comes naturally. Taking good care of myself comes naturally, too, but I don’t always make time for it.
Yesterday I had a meltdown. The kind where there’s nothing to say that hasn’t already been said. There are no new worries or stresses to discuss. There are no new solutions or ideas to share. Just tears of weariness from a fostering road that is way too long.
Today I am better. This is how it works. I know that now. Just wait, and tomorrow will be better. Or worse if there are unforeseen phone calls, but usually better.
Thankfully, I have been “loving my future self,” as Aunt Krissy would call it, by sort of keeping up with my daily housekeeping schedule. Which means that no bathrooms are in serious need of care. No floors are completely covered with things. Enough clean laundry done to get us through the coming days. The stickiness left over on the kitchen floor from the carnival party is getting gradually less sticky. Maybe if I leave it long enough, it will go away altogether.
So today I take a day off. After dropping Tyler at school, I take Midge upstairs to the toys she doesn’t see so often. Midge occupied. Me lounging out with two books: a parenting book and a new cookbook. Relax. Plan meals that I probably won’t make, but I might.
After lunch I take an orange outside onto the back porch swing. Where the wisteria is starting to bloom like crazy. And the carpenter bees buzz through a smell so strong it’s like perfume. And the sun beats down on my shoulders until I have to retreat inside for fear of sunburn.
The boys want to go to the pool this afternoon. Thankful for a February heat wave, even if it melts the snow we’re supposed to visit this weekend.
There will always be a mess in our art studio. There will always be more laundry to do. And there will be moments here and there that I need to grab onto and squeeze all the drops of joy out of, just to make sure that I’m taking good care of myself.
The afternoon smile. That’s what I’ve accomplished during this school day.