Three Emotionally Unstable Things Today: Part 1

Today has been a good day. Yet I’ve been dealing with three strangely emotion-tugging things. The first one is strange because I don’t even really know the person it involves anymore. A few days ago, a good college friend linked up to an itunes free song from a guy we went to college with. Which might not mean much to you who went to gargantuan universities, but for us small Christian college folks…well, we at least know of most people from our college (I think there were about 500 students per class at good ole Point Loma Nazarene University!)

So anyway, this guy was a very familiar face. He was part of a quartet that sang in chapel quite often. He was the leader of the Point Loma Players, a comedy acting troupe who spread the gospel at various churches and events with their humor. I was a student ministry leader at the time, too, so we’ve been at many a meeting together and on retreats together…I knew his face the moment I saw it.

And now he’s famous-ish. Singer-songwriter type, whose music has been played in major t.v. shows like Grey’s Anatomy and such. The guy’s married to Ingrid Michaelson for heaven’s sake! So why did running into his name and face again after all this time strike such a somber chord for me?

Well, his music is great. Somewhat depressing at times, for sure. But check out this single to get a vibe: I might drop by.  So I started clicking around, wondering if he’s doing any Christian music. And found an interview where he said he’s not religious at all. When asked about his PLNU college experience, he said he wasn’t really into college and barely got through. Now, I have no reason to doubt that the second part of that is accurate, but I remember him being very active in our small school community. Which is why it’s so sad to hear him dismissing the christian college experience, saying that any religion he had before college was snuffed out while he was there.

While he was sharing the gospel, he was losing it. It makes my heart lurch a bit, wondering what he must have gone through during our years at school…pretending to be one thing and feeling something else. Or maybe really feeling it then, and dismissing it now because he looks back and sees his faith as irrelevant. He was not the only one.

When I was a senior, a friend had moved from being a leader of one of our campus student ministries to overseeing all of the ministries and the leaders. That very year, he dismissed his faith altogether, and as far as I know, he has never picked it back up. Honestly, I even had my own doubts during my junior year when I was in leadership positions in several campus groups. I was blessed that shortly afterwards, during my months in Germany, I felt renewed and my faith became stronger than ever.

I can’t really explain why reading that interview about a distant acquaintance touched me so deeply. I think it reminds me that I should be mourning a lot more than I do for the lost. So sad to think that someone had the truth and let it go. So sad to know that it happens all the time, all around us, often without us knowing.

I want to notice. My prayer is that I will notice the lost hurting around me and reach into lives where God is needed.

Two more strangely emotional things to share in the next few days. For now, I’m just pondering and listening to my newly purchased PLNU alum itunes.

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