He is doing it.

Yes, God is doing it! He is holding me up. He is keeping me sane. He is handing me sweet moments of joy in the low times. In the times when Midge’s new social worker seems to want to disregard 14 months of history, thinking she knows better than everyone who came before her and everyone who’s supposed to be collaborating with her. Knowing that she has tremendous pull in this courtroom, with this judge, who also favors reunification above all else.

I can safely say these are the low times. If Midge is reunified, this is just the beginning of the low times. If she stays with us, this is the worst of the low times. But the times are definitely low. They are times when every happy day is shadowed by the fact that this could be the last Mother’s Day, last birthday, last anything together.

But God…HE is good. He is teaching me how to let go of worry. (and then again. and again. and again.) How to put down my fighting hands and lift up my praying hands. Knowing that He knows the future. He wants the best for my entire family. He knows the best way to draw me closer to Him. He knows exactly what I need to experience today. He knows how to bring my boys and my girl into His arms. He is working it out, day by day. I’m learning to hand over the reigns of my perceived control. (and then again. and again. and again.)

LORD, work Your good and perfect plans in court next week. And in the next court date after that. And after that. You know the future. You hold the present. Help me remember this, moment by moment.

Blue Skies: Point of Grace (God can even use the kids’ Veggie Tales cds to do whatever He wants in my life)

On days of gray
When doubt clouds my view
It’s so hard to see past my fears
My strength seems to fade
And it’s all I can do
To hold on, ’til the light reappears
Still, I believe though some rain’s bound to fall
That you’re here next to me
And you’re over it all

Lord, the sky’s still blue
For my hope is in you
You’re my joy
You’re the dream that’s still alive
Like the wind at my back
And the sun on my face
You are life
You’re grace
You are blue skies
You’re my blue skies

When nights are long
Seems the dark has no end
Still we walk on in light of the truth
For waiting beyond
Where the morning begins
Is the dawn, and you’re mercy anew
Oh, to believe we’re alive in you’re love
There is so much to see
If we keep looking up

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