Homemaker.

The word ‘Homemaker’ used to make me cringe a little bit for some reason. I think society has succeeded in the past fifty years in fooling people into thinking that mothers aren’t really necessary. We’ve learned to introduce ourselves with different titles, as if homemaker were somehow a step below teacher or attorney or writer or business person. It wasn’t until I became a full time homemaker and mother, and truthfully, not until a few years into the job, that I began to embrace it. The title of Stay-at-home-mom just doesn’t begin to encompass all of the responsibilities of the homemaker. Homemakers are the keepers of the home. We are the women who create a little space that is separate from the world. A respite. A safe haven. A home base where mama can be found for your triumphs and troubles. Home is where my boys find me chopping something up and simmering it, cutting something up and sewing it, picking something up and washing it. I am happy to be found here most hours of most days.

Home isn’t always quiet and definitely not always clean. Home has a basketball hoop in the living room where “my transformer is hanging like Tarzan, Mommy! Look! Look! Excuse me, Mommy, LOOK!” The baseboards aren’t clean and there’s often remnants of a previous meal on the floor. Home needs two new bar stools. Home is not perfect.

At the same time, it is perfect. In our role as foster parents, we recognize the rarity of a home life like ours. We are thankful for the haven we have here that God sustains, by His grace.

A while back I started reading a beautiful blog written by Itto, a German Muslim woman living in rural Morocco. She recently wrote this about mothering, homemaking, nurturing. I give it a hearty Amen. Staying home to nurture our husbands and children and homes doesn’t have the best reputation in our society anymore, but that doesn’t make it any less important. Itto is right, we are the ones responsible to bring up a new generation of people in this world. What could be more important than that?

I deeply feel that it is us, the mothers, who create a home, who feed the spirit within.
It is us, the mothers, who introduce meaning and consciousness to family life.
It is our God-given duty to provide love and care, an open ear, a beautiful environment, a warm meal and a welcoming hug.

It is up to our individual creativity how we celebrate family life, how we establish rhythm, how we practice faith, how we strengthen family bonds, and how we create a peaceful atmosphere.

It is us, the mothers, who are responsible to bring up a new generation of people to this world – children who are able to live in love, peace and respect for themselves and the world around.

I love to be the center of our home, the maker of rhythm and routine in the best of its meanings.
I love to be the provider of comfort, coziness and nourishment.
I am proud to be a manager, a guide, the keeper of balance, of continuity, of love and of peace around here.

I am the shepherdess of my flock.
I am the heart and the soul of the home.
I am the mamma – a real homemaker.

Click here to read Itto’s entire post.

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6 thoughts on “Homemaker.

  1. dear linn,
    thanks for the honour you gave my post.
    I am happy to have all your news… seems a lot you’ve achieved over the last months while I didn’t catch up.
    may God bless you and your family and the big commitment of fostering children!
    love from morocco

  2. Amen to everything you say!!
    It’s funny, I didn’t really, truly appreciate what this was all about back when I had the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom. It wasn’t until I went back to work full-time (thankfully in a job that allows me to work from home) that I really “got it” and embraced what homemaking was all about. Now, I’m lucky in that I get the best of both worlds- a career and job I love and homemaking and spending precious time with my kids at my FIRST JOB – mothering.

  3. Dear Linn, I just read your post and Itto’s as well. I have to admit I am envious. I’m going on my 3rd year of my “Homemaker” status and still trying to embrace it, feeling so much guilt for not enjoying it as much as I thought I would. After all, it’s what I’ve wanted nearly my whole life. Why isn’t it coming more naturally to me? There are many aspects that I do love. I love waking up to that sweet voice saying, “mama, dada” and picking up his little, sleepy body out of his crib. I love playing “choo choo’s” with him and building creations together with his Duplos and blocks. I love watching him run around naked as he slips away when I’m trying to get him dressed. I love reading to him, tickling him and smothering him with kisses. I love his big smile when he is so proud of an accomplishment. Even disciplining him is not all that bad (most of the time.)
    But then there’s the other stuff that I can’t seem to wrap my hands and brain around. When you mentioned “chopping and simmering” I felt so bad. “Do I ever chop or simmer anything? Rarely! I started out with good intentions, when LJ was 7 months old I was chopping, cooking, puree-ing. And then over and over again he wouldn’t eat….month after month, he spit it out, vomited it out or most often threw everything on the floor. I tried and tried and now over one year later, it’s even worse. Now I can’t even get him to eat the foods that he used to eat. Every day the list thins out of what he will eat. Now, I have to pause here and say that I’ve never been a good cook. In my first year of marriage I tried really hard, but rarely got any comments from my husband, and almost no positive ones. So I have a husband who doesn’t like my cooking and a son who doesn’t eat anything. Needless to say I feel very UNMOTIVATED to cook.
    On the housekeeping side…disaster, although now that my morning sickness has subsided for the most part, I am doing better, at least I’m keeping up with the basics. I have accepted the fact that toys will appear on the floor of every room no matter what I do! But the dishes in the sink often make me depressed, when I think how they will never end.
    And finally I miss so many things about my old life….I miss pedicures, putting on makeup, and shopping by myself. I miss dancing and having a meal at a restaurant without hearing screaming or chasing a little body around the room. I miss working with adults and exercising my brain with thoughts and conversations that are more interesting than the repetetive mantra of, “please don’t spill your water on the floor” or “stop licking that, that’s not food!” And have I mentioned, that I miss my old body!!! (I’m sure my husband does too.)
    So I think I will add to my prayers, “Lord give me love for my job, help me delight in the little things, I know they won’t last forever (like the tiny pair of jeans on the bathroom floor.)
    Andrea

    • Oh, dear Andrea! Did you ever hear me say that I enjoy doing (the endless stream of) dishes or (the endless stream of) laundry? I don’t think many people can claim that, certainly not me.

      You are a homemaker whether you recognize your value or not. Playing with LJ and being there for him when he needs you are the most important roles you can have. I think I was finally able to embrace the title of homemaker when I realized that I would be the one giving my boys a safe place to land. I would be the one hearing their giggles and wiping their tears and encircling them in the safety of my arms when they felt defeated. When I was finally able to give those actions value, despite the fact that they don’t “produce” anything tangible…that is when I was able to feel comfortable in my role.

      You might not enjoy the cooking aspect, but there are plenty of aspects I don’t enjoy that perhaps you do. We all have our strengths and interests, but the key is that we are there for our children and strive to make our homes and families a safe and warm and comforting place for our husbands and kids. You do a great job.

      Remember, too, that you are in the real trenches of parenting, with a 2 year old and one on the way. In a few years you will sigh and realize what you have “accomplished” during these seemingly fruitless years of hard work. I know I am finally seeing some of that fruit. I’m glad you’re trying to hang onto the little joys even in these tough years. I’ll be praying for you!

    • That is so true, Azure. Dads do so much of what is mentioned in that quote. I know that I try to “talk up” my husband to others for all the work he does to maintain our family and home. I’m grateful to have a husband who makes it easier to be a homemaker.

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