If I Had Six Kids…

I had six kids for two days during this past week. Seven, if you count the little foster kids’ big foster sister, which I don’t, because she’s more help than she is work. The little kids’ new foster mom celebrated her birthday with a quiet trip to Catalina with just her and her husband…imagine that! She deserves it. But I realized that I’d have to do a lot of things differently if I had six kids every day.

If I Had Six Kids:

  • I would lose a lot of weight. From serving everyone else during meals, only grabbing a bite for myself here and there when nobody’s asking for something or spilling something.
  • I would have a bag packed with snacks for everyone in the back of my car at all times.
  • I would have a bag with sand toys and sports balls in the car. That way, when I get everyone dressed, bathroomed, and into their carseats, I wouldn’t have to turn the car around and start over again because I forgot park toys. Today, I didn’t turn the car around, but fantasized about how nice it would be to have a drive-thru Target, where I could pull in and buy a ball and toys on the way to the park. As it turned out, the kids declared the new park “the best park they’ve ever been to” even without the toys. I think having five other playmates to play pirate ship is better than any toy.
  • I would assign each child a color, and that way I would only have six cups to wash each day instead of six hundred.
  • I would create and stick to a strict schedule. No exceptions. I think it would be the only way to survive.
  • I would have kids who learn to solve their own problems and entertain themselves with their siblings instead of counting on me to be available to solve problems and cure boredom.
  • I would probably lose a few kids here and there at open park spaces and in public places without fences.
  • I would smile when I saw all six swings at the park occupied with all six of my kids in a row, laughing at the same time. I would videotape that moment.
  • I would rely on Greg for everything! When he had to work, I would hire a mother’s helper…at least until everyone turned three.
  • I would homeschool again. Trying to get all of those kids dressed and out the door by 7:40 a.m. would probably be impossible. I let Tyler and Jake skip school today to play with the little ones, and because I couldn’t figure out a naptime for everyone with the school pick ups in the way.
  • I would pack lunches the night before. Even on weekends.
  • I would install a few more gates in the house to keep kids close to me who were being difficult to get along with.
  • I would turn the t.v. on a LOT more often. And give myself more grace about it.
  • I would smile when I watched my six kiddos dance to the song at the end of Madagascar (“I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it!”) I would videotape that, too.
  • I would have a messier house. Or maybe I’d have a cleaner house because I wouldn’t even expect to have any time to myself to get on the computer or sneak a quiet moment during the day.
  • I would be grateful for each snuggle.
  • I would crack down on misbehavior in all six to keep the peace.
  • I would love going to church with my brood. I don’t know why I enjoy that so much.
  • I would have a seven bedroom house. So that nobody could disturb anybody else while sleeping. Or I’d be the bedtime Nazi, enforcing staying-in-bed rules like a drill sergeant to keep myself from going crazy.
  • I would drink a breakfast smoothie every morning…quick and nutritious. Better than today’s breakfast: half of a string cheese, part of a glass of O.J., and a leftover meringue from yesterday’s baby shower.
  • I would take vitamins to boost my immunity. Can you imagine trying to take care of six kids while sick? I can barely do it while well!
  • I would say with pride when anybody asked, “Yes, they’re all mine. They’re 7, 5, 5, 3, 2, and 1.” And it would make me smile.
  • I would be thrilled whenever all of them were in one spot long enough to take their picture.
  • I would serve a lot of scrambled eggs.
  • I would have to mop my floor daily. Or, knowing me, I’d just learn to live with a sticky floor and become a stickler for eating only in the breakfast nook.
  • I would have to buy a new nook table to make room for Greg and I!
  • I would create a daily rest time for everyone in the afternoon during naps.
  • I would make a “quiet spot” for each kid that was just their own…a place where they could get away from everyone else, knowing that they couldn’t be disturbed there.
  • I would say, “I don’t want to hear it!” twelve thousand times a day when someone came to tattle to me.
  • I would say, “I can’t understand that whining voice” another twelve thousand times. Do you think it would eventually break them of the habit?

Of course, the day after I sent the little kids home I got a call from their foster mom…from the dentist…about a cracked tooth…which they think happened on my watch during a standard slip-and-fall at the park…sigh. More paperwork. If I had six kids, I’d adopt them all as soon as possible just to avoid filling out county foster forms for the rest of my life.


4 thoughts on “If I Had Six Kids…

  1. such a wonderful post! i love that you let the boys stay home from school because of logistics. i would, too!

    what do people do who’s kids don’t eat eggs? especially if they have a lot of kids? i have no clue.

    you should get a vitamix. it can puree just about anything and it relieves a lot of kid-health guilt when i see them (and me) gulp down sneaky smoothies full of kale and squash and other veggies.

    and i made the tofu (we used fish), white wine, butter recipe from “the flexitarian table.” amazing! and the tomato/green bean/quinoa (i used brown rice) recipe that accompanies it was so delicious, too.

  2. Fun post! I realize I only have four kids (for now), but so very many of these things apply to me. Especially love this one: “I would say with pride when anybody asked, “Yes, they’re all mine. They’re 7, 5, 5, 3, 2, and 1.” And it would make me smile. ” I love answering that question when people ask me. 🙂

  3. Had to smile at this post! So much does change. And I love it! I love the one about going to church – I get compliments all the time about how well behaved my six are, and I’m so proud of them. Oh, you’d definitely add one to the list about having every kid do age appropriate jobs. I would truly be insane without this one!

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