Three Emotionally Unstable Things Today: Part 2

The second thing affecting my emotional stability today (well, I wrote this yesterday now!) is a brief phone call I had with my good foster parent friend. This wonderful woman is “Nanny” to the three little ones who are at home in my heart, although not in my house. Our first foster sons who lived here on an emergency shelter basis have simply transformed during their 18 months with Nanny. We’ve kept in close contact with the whole family, including Tall Girl, the little boys’ big sister.

This week is foster kid birthday week at our house, with Middle Boy’s 4th birthday today, and Tall Girl and Small Girl (a.k.a. our very own Midge!) having their 6th and 2nd birthdays on Saturday! We called to wish Middle Boy a happy birthday today.

And Nanny told me that our agency has approved an adoptive family for the three kiddos.

You’re rejoicing, right?

A stable christian home for three kids who need a family.

I handled it well because I knew it was in the works. But the truth is, I thought maybe God might call our family to adopt those three little ones. After all, I’m already firmly in love with them, and they are totally comfortable here. Overnights aren’t rare, and everyone feels right at home.

I knew that if our family became a family of eight, it would be a daily challenge. It would certainly bring out the worst in us at times, but if God wanted it, it could also bring out the best in us. If God wanted us to go through fire and hard times, then He wanted it for our good in the end. Would he ask us to make that leap of faith?

I fasted three times this year while praying about God’s will for our family and those three. (Well, my blood sugar doesn’t do well with real fasting, so I fast from all sweets and sweeteners of any kind, which is pretty tough for me. A definite sacrifice.) The first time I fasted, it ended two weeks later when Nanny told us that a distant relative had come out of the woodwork to adopt them. Not something either of us were happy about, but definitely closing the door on us adopting them. Then those relatives fell through. The second time I fasted, it ended after 7 weeks when Nanny told me about this couple that our agency had matched with the kids. Wow. A big punch in the gut for me. We couldn’t yet say that God was calling our family to do it, so again, the door closing. Just to be thorough (ha!) I fasted just once more. If something happens this time, then I’ll really know it wasn’t meant to be, I told God. Sure enough, Nanny tells me today that the couple they had been matched with has been approved. The kids will go there for a week of respite in June instead of coming to us. I guess this is really it.

After a year of wondering, praying, and sometimes fasting, I’m beginning to let go of those three. And I’m starting to be happy for them and their new home with a childless couple nearby. We will be Auntie Linn and Uncle Greg. It will be a strange and emotionally tough transition for me…after all, Mama Linn is an endearing title, and Little Boy still cries “Mama” in the most gut-wrenching way whenever I leave him.

But God knows what’s best for those three little ones. God knows what’s best for our own kids and our family. And as unlikely as it was to find a family willing to adopt all three together, I think God knew that I wouldn’t completely let go of my heart for those kids until that rare family emerged.

Let’s all pray together for three kids who, in several months, will move from all they’ve ever known into everything strange and new. Especially pray for Tall Girl, who, at six years old, had a whole different life planned out for herself. LORD, keep those kiddos in your arms and be with their whole new forever family.


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