I’ve been feeling a bit like I’ve lost myself. I need to get back to some of the things I’m passionate about. There are seasons of life when you have to put everything aside and focus with tunnel vision on one situation, leaving the rest to survival mode. And although Midge’s fostering situation is far from over, I need to seek balance again, finding some other things to spend my time and focus on.
Tiny Houses. Oh, these are so much fun. I first found out about them a few years ago when I saw this youtube video tour. Intriguing! Now, a family of four could never live in an 87 square foot house. But the video came along right as I was really beginning to feel a pull toward a more natural, slower, more minimal lifestyle. Right around that time came my dream house…a tiny falling apart place in the most beautiful flood plain in our nearby canyon which I tried to convince Greg should be our home. Click here if you want to reminisce about the house, shown below.
It wasn’t to be. All house issues aside, we made the decision to keep our kids in our great family oriented neighborhood with lots of other kids, rather than move them out there and be isolated from playmates. But minimizing didn’t lose its draw. I began to purge our stuff. The 100 things movement fascinates me. Did you know that there are scores of people trying to minimize all of their belongings down to 100 things? When you read their lists, you realize that they don’t enjoy cooking, they don’t have kids, they probably don’t look trendy, and they don’t entertain, but it’s still interesting to think about. I’ve been into minimizing our belongings before (don’t laugh if you know us in person! It’s true!) but it’s been a while since I did any major purging of our belongings. I’m itching to do it again.
It had been a while since I’d thought about tiny houses, but then my cousin Karen posted about them on her facebook page, and browsing the net looking at tiny houses helped me pass the time during Midge’s Thursday visit this week. This is the tiny house I want if my tiny house dream ever comes true. And then I look in just my master bedroom closet and realize that I don’t think the stuff from that one spot would fit into my dream tiny house. So maybe it’s a good thing it won’t come true for quite some time. There is too much minimizing to do before that happens!
And because distraction really can be key in tough times where you can’t do anything but wait, I became the room mom for Tyler’s school class. And the team mom for Jake’s tennis team. And I have been trying to enjoy the process of cooking again. When Midge is at her long visits, I try to embrace the quiet of the house and make poached egg burritos with mexican style fixings, or sauteed eggplant with yogurt garlic dipping sauce, rather than crying into my microwave nachos. If I’m going to be depressed, I may as well do it with a little bit of class, right?
Another good distraction: Halloween is coming up! We’re getting the boys geared up with their newest Star Wars costumes. (It’s always Star Wars around here at Halloween.) They are two commanders whose names I can’t remember. The costuming involves finding used elbow guards and helmets and painting them and making cool utility belts and such. Always a good idea. But nobody’s going to use my amazing Ewok costume from last year. Remember? What a shame.
As I look back at the blog posts of the past, I feel wistful for the sewing and the beautiful hikes and the general peace I see there. But I know God needs christians stepping into the messy places, even if it means giving up handmade teacher gifts and researching earth friendly homemade detergent. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. (Seinfeld fans, anyone?)
I’m going to make a better effort to record and enjoy and focus on the positive, the peaceful, the golden moments of our lives, even in the midst of uncertainty and darkness. I don’t want to look back and feel like I missed out on any part of the journey God has given us. I’m going to make a better effort at my 180 photo project, too. I’ve gotten behind. But I like the idea. And I’m going to make a better effort towards thankfulness. Because God truly has blessed us with more than we could have imagined.