A Rebel.

On Monday Midge’s court date got postponed again. In my mind, Monday was the last chance to save her from being torn from us, the only family she remembers. The next court date will be in a month, but by then we expect her father to have finished his case plan (really! after 2 whole years!) and the social worker to have increased visits to the point that the court will continue to back reunification efforts with him.

Monday I felt a real attack on our family. Greg was supposed to go to court and woke up at 4 a.m. with vomiting and such. The social worker called me that morning to tell me she was planning to increase visitations no matter what happened in court. Greg was waiting in the courthouse for hours to speak with the judge. Nobody responded to my facebook notice about the court hearing (usually I get lots of encouragement and prayers and such via facebook on court days when I post about it.) They postponed the trial again for the 6th time in 10 months. Greg was feeling disillusioned with court and discouraged in his faith. Jake threw up at school and I went to pick him up early. I continued to have a sore throat which bordered on feeling like strep. I am not one to think much about spiritual warfare, but I told a friend that morning that I really felt like the enemy was after us.

And I remembered our pastor saying a month or so ago that when trials and storms and darkness come into our lives, we need to examine why they are there. Is it because we have strayed from God’s path for us and we are reaping the consequences of our own sinful choices? Or is it because we are following God’s path for us and we are experiencing the suffering that is common to all believers, including Jesus himself?

We know this is the path God chose for us.

And while everything can be taken from us in this world, Satan cannot take away our ability to thank God for his blessings. He is raining down blessings on our lives. They pour over us, too numerous to name. And as we look up at His hand, we see Midge, and we tell Him that we want THAT one…the one that He is holding back from us…the one that He is still hanging onto. We brush aside all the blessings scattered around us like confetti and focus on the one thing that He isn’t giving to us right now.

So it’s time to rebel against the natural bitterness that crops up when life is not fair. We won’t let Satan creep into our hearts. We will fight against despair and discontent. We will count those thousands of daily blessings, small and big. We will thank God in all circumstances. I feel in my heart that this is the message God has for me today. He wants me to learn to look around and praise Him constantly.

10. G: All five of us in bed together on a Sunday morning.

11. J: Donuts at church.

12. L: Indians with Aunt Krissy…Grand Aunts Play Best.

13. T: Playing with other people’s dogs at the park.

14. L: Impromptu pizza dinner and conversation with good friends.

15. L: That quiet moment just after all the kids are nestled into bed.

16. L&J: Making Halloween costumes is so much fun!

17. L: A good book with everything ending just right.

18. L: Watching Jake take such good care of Midge on the playground.

19. L: The music from the movie Tarzan.

20. L: The stranger who spoke encouragement to me at bible study.

21. L: The way Midge runs to me squealing with joy and literally shoves all the other kids aside when I pick her up from her class.


3 thoughts on “A Rebel.

  1. I’ve been following along for a while, but haven’t commented. So sorry to hear that your case was postponed again. Foster care can be excruciating. I was praying for you on Monday and hoping to hear some good news. I know the Lord is pleased with your attempt to fight back the bitterness and attacks of Satan.

  2. I’ve got tears – I know how hard it can be to do what you did/are doing. Praise Him in the storm. I love this – be a rebel, bold and strong. Know that He is in control. And the more helpless we know ourselves to be, the more opportunity for Him to work miracles and take all the credit. I’m still praying for you – everyday. Blessings!

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