It’s rainy and cold outside but it’s snug in here. The teakettle is on and there is banana bread waiting to be baked into muffins for the boys’ after school snack. The house is straightened (I didn’t say clean!) and the birthday and Super Bowl season has wound down so that there’s nothing pressing on my to do list. It is quiet.
I drive the carpool both before and after school today and I get to volunteer in Jake’s classroom this afternoon. I had uninterrupted time at both Trader Joe’s and the farmer’s market this morning, and even with the rain, the morning was easy. Yesterday we took the boys and two of their friends to Legoland for their birthdays and that was easy, too, with the kids being older and more independent.
I have to say, life is pretty easy right now. Too easy. I’m not a glutton for punishment, but I also don’t want to spend my time here in this life just baking and volunteering and grocery shopping and nurturing my tiny family unit…all good things.
The trick is in finding balance. God’s first call for me is to disciple my children and take care of my family and my home, but he also calls me to take care of the needy and oppressed of the world. He put me into this first world life for a reason…to share my blessings with those less fortunate. How should I do that? Most of my friends are seeking this balance, too. If I spend all of my time on my own little family and don’t guard the time needed to reach out to others, that’s a bad thing. If I spend all of my time reaching out and don’t guard the time I need to nourish my family responsibilities, that’s a bad thing, too.
I need to be very purposeful and prayerful as I consider my schedule and my outside commitments. And I also need to be careful about not neglecting the world because I want my life (and my kids’ lives!) to be easy and comfortable.
Up until now, all of our energy has been used up with “just getting through it.” But now that it’s been over three months since we knew about Midge leaving and we began grieving, and almost two months since we actually said goodbye, we are settling in to this new life.
Greg and I both feel like we have more to give and God is asking us to give it. We are in agreement and are ready to talk to our agency about taking our next placement(s). I’ll update you after we meet with our case manager on Monday.