Nine Days In.

There are so many things I’d like to write about, talk about with experienced mamas and foster mamas, vent about, and complain about, as well as celebrate about! It’s been nine days since our new kiddos came and I am tired.

So I’ll just check in here to say that overall, things are going better than I had probably expected. The kids are still in full honeymoon phase when it comes to behavior, which has given us some time to bond before they let it all hang out. The sibling situation, however, has been tougher than I’d expected. Well, if I had really thought about it, I would have expected it to be this tough, but I was so focused on being worried about the kids’ trauma behaviors that I hadn’t spent much time thinking about how the four kids would need to adjust.

So we pretty much have non-stop bickering most of the day. Sometimes we’ll get a break for 15-20 minutes where everyone’s getting along, but pretty soon, “He’s being mean to me!” “No, you’re being mean!” “No you are!” “No you are!” rings through the air. The two firstborns clash the most. I imagine it will be several months until everybody settles in to their new place in the family and learns how to push and not push each other’s buttons. Each kid is used to the dynamics of the family unit they’ve been living with, and they’ve been completely comfortable in their previous roles. It’s going to be a long few months.

I’m thankful for school. The timing I had hoped for is exactly the timing God gave us…a few months to settle in before we attempt the summer vacation with full days together. Right now everyone gets a break from everyone else for part of the day. I think this is especially good for Jake, who thrives on routine and is notorious for having a tough time transitioning to new things. The littlest guy is settling in fine at home when everyone else is gone, which is nice. The afternoons are pretty hectic, with everyone wanting to play with everyone else, but everyone wanting everyone else to play exactly what s/he wants to play and how s/he wants to play it!

But things are good overall. Super tiring, but good. Bedtimes have been much easier than I’d hoped, so Greg and I collapse on the couch and are free after about 8:15ish. We need the break and are so thankful for it. Right now the rest of the family is upstairs watching Wreck It Ralph for some down time after a full day. Everyone’s already jammied up with teeth brushed and showers and baths are done. I’m looking forward to the couch with my book club book tonight.

Life is very full, very hard at times, very frustrating, and very fulfilling. I know we’re doing what God made us to do, so that makes it feel right.

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2 thoughts on “Nine Days In.

  1. Yes, that adjustment time is hard. I think it took me about three months to adjust the first time (going from zero to six) but I didn’t have to work on any new kid-to-kid relationships, just had to work on siblings issues (which was enough, trust me!). I don’t know if it should take longer with your kiddos learning to adjust to each other, or if it will be around the same time. Hopefully not longer! So glad to hear that all is at least as good as or better than expected!

    • Thanks, Elizabeth! I was estimating three months before things start to feel normal, so it’s good to know that at least one other person who’s walked this road before can attest to that! We’ll see…Three months for us will be a few weeks into summer vacation, so that will be yet another adjustment. I’m going to try to keep us busy this summer and maybe that will help!

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