I can’t believe it’s only five days until Christmas. So much has happened since I last posted…I know it’s no secret that I’m barely keeping this blog alive. But that’s reality: life gets busy and I’m okay with that.
The big news is that the trial happened for E and A on December 9, and miracle of all miracles, they terminated their parents’ rights! We couldn’t believe it. Apparently, they asked the social worker if we would be open to becoming only legal guardians for the kids so that their mom could keep on trying to get them back. She informed them that there was no way we would be open to that, and that if they did that, they should be prepared to find the kids a new home because she didn’t think we would keep them. She was right, but I’m glad I didn’t know about any of this beforehand! I have never heard Greg speechless until the moment I called him to tell him that the rights were terminated.
So we haven’t had visits for two weeks, which has been amazing. There will be a goodbye visit the day after Christmas with their birth mother, and I don’t know what’s going on with their birth father. It’s strange to call them “birth parents” but as E informed A, that’s what they’re going to be now. She has a best friend two doors down who was adopted as an infant from foster care, and apparently they had discussed this during a playdate at some point. I’m thankful that we know so many adopted people at school and in the neighborhood, so that it doesn’t seem strange for our new little ones.
The kids are doing really well with it. E was upset the first night, as she really thought her birth mother was going to get her back (because she had been telling E this at visits, apparently.) And she’s really upset that she won’t ever see her old friends again. But after that first night, we haven’t seen any mourning. I know that will come in waves over the next few years.
As for A, he was thrilled to hear he was staying with us forever. He wasn’t really paid much attention to at his old house. E calls for so much attention that I think A was just an afterthought in the corner. Nobody played with him or spent much time with him, I don’t think. He has never once said that he missed anyone or anything from his old house, family, life. How sad. But now he’s here forever and couldn’t be more pleased to have brothers and a family who love him and pay attention to him.
And we have seen Midge once a week since Thanksgiving! We met up with her and her dad at Disneyland last Sunday, and she’s coming over for the day this Sunday, when we will open her Christmas presents with her. Her dad informed me today that the dreaded horrible social worker who was taken off the case has now weaseled her way back in. It is the worst news I could have heard. This woman is determined to keep Midge in limbo forever and to give her mother more and more visitations all the time. Couldn’t she just leave the poor baby alone and let her try to lead a normal life? No. She can’t.
We are grateful that Midge’s dad seems to be willing to let us help him with her quite often. I would love to get to the point where we have her at least one day a week on a regularly scheduled basis. It would give him a break, because she rules the roost over there and can drive him crazy, and it would be good for her and for our kids, who all miss their sister.
When people ask me how many kids I have, I say five. She will always be my baby, no matter where she lives. When a parent divorces, they don’t disown their child just because they live with a different parent now, do they? If asked for more details I tell them my kids are 3, 5, 6, 7, and 9, but my 3 year old lives with her dad right now. All true, and definitely more accurate than saying that I only have four kids.
Merry Christmas to you all! I will be here trying to survive the two and a half weeks of the kids all together, trying to get along. The Christmas festivities are all new for E and A, so it’s been extra fun this year seeing it all afresh through their eyes. And I can honestly say that I’m looking forward to what the new year may bring!